I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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