if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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