I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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