bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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