Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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