jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
