did you get engaged???
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
