covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
