bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
