yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
