Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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