mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
