I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
