Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize