party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
