just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He? As in you personified your dick?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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