Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
only you would photoshop your dick
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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