3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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