i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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