Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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