grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
how drunk are you?
Several
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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