Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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