No stitches, just platelets and will power
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
