We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
