He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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