I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
