It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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