she was so not down for the gang bang
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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