Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
whose ass print is on the piano?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
