Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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