the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize