if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
