All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
