the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
