by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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