I'm lost and stupid without you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
