This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
