We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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