I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just gargled with NyQuil
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
