Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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