I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
