Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
