I need help removing her.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize