it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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