Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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