You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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