i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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