I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize