I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
