So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
