she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
