I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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