And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I love you. Go after that dick
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize