i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
