she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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