i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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